red sea urchins eat kelp, i think.

A red sea urchin crawls on the bottom
of the pacific ocean, nursing a hang over,
singing a portishead song in his head.
This certain creature has had a long night
filled with nothing but redundant dispositions,
hindered by recurring neurosis, leading him
to binge on whiskey all night as an escape
from the reality of his crippling self doubt.

He tries to regenerate new spines to replace the
the lost ones from last night but realizes that
he doesn't have enough energy to do so. So, he
crawls over to the kelp forest and consumes
his fill, rebuilding his energy to grow brand new spines,
for elevation over tall rocks,  to increase his possibilities
of procreating and passing on his genes, which he considers
substantially above normal for his species. He has thought of this
justification as elitist, but pursuits on for his own self-absorbed
reasons.

After the endeavor, he realizes the effort was in vain. No other
red sea urchin, of the different gender, found him attractive, so, he
gave up all hope and wrote short stories about humans  in an
animated manner, that red sea urchins would relate to, sometimes.