self-indulgent, cluster-fuck of words when I'm bored on a weekend

If I get tired of being around you
you shouldn't take it personal
It wasn't your fault
As typical as it may sound
it's me
not you
and I wouldn't know where to begin explaining
If you think I'm an asshole
then you're not alone
sometimes
A lot of the times
people look like they enjoy my presence
or maybe they just make themselves look like they enjoy my presence
since the reason I'm with them in the first place is contrived
and they have no choice
so they make the best out of the situation
by laughing at things I say when I don't mean to be funny
then when I actually mean to be funny
and they don't laugh
they apologize and the atmosphere turns awkward
They forget
but I dwell on it and hope that they don't fire me tomorrow
or on monday
if it happens on a friday
I like my job
only during paydays
besides that
I'm just killing time
It doesn't mean anything and I don't know what I'm doing with my life
Neither does anyone else
but they have this preconceived notion that brings meaning to their lives
I'm presumptuous
and pretentious
but I also want to sound modest.